Dialogue

Two people talking in fiction isn't the same thing as two people talking in real life. Dialogue in fiction sounds like normal speech but with the filler distilled out--no "ums" or "ahs," not too many "likes" or "uh huhs" or "how are yas,"precious little repetition. Like description, dialogue always serves a purpose. It reveals character or relationships between characters, provides exposition, punctuates the action, and moves the plot along. Dialogue is natural; it's how people talk. It's true to the point of view of the character who is speaking and doesn't leap outside her head.

Here are some basic things to remember about dialogue:

• Provide a tag the first time character speaks, usually after the first phrase or clause.


• Use mainly "he said/she said" and avoid yelling, screaming, shrieking, and so on. Let the actual talk do the work, not the tag.


• Avoid excessive use of adverbs. If your character says something loudly, you probably have to to back to what she said and make it more emphatic.


• Don't have two characters who are speaking face-to-face call each other by their names, unless the situation warrants it.


• Use the present tense.
  
• Don't throw in a lot of foreign words or expressions.
  
• Use profanity only where it makes sense for your character.
  
• Try to keep conversations between your characters short and sweet.


• Read your dialogue out loud to make sure it sounds natural.

Here are some usage rules for dialogue:

• All dialogue should be set off by quotation marks. Commas, periods, question marks go inside quotation marks. If a speaker talks for more than a paragraph, leave off the final quote marks at the end of the first paragraph but include them at the beginning of the second paragraph and at the conclusion of the speech.


• Start a new paragraph each time you change speakers.


• Try not to run dialogue into paragraphs that contain long descriptions. Brief gestures, especially if they identify the speaker can work well, though.


• During long stretches of dialogue, identify the speaker every 5-6 lines.
  
• Tag each line of dialogue when three or more people are talking.


• Use single quote marks when one speaker quotes another.


• Use ellipses to indicate an incomplete thought and dashes to indicate and interrupted thought.

Some Target Markets for Your Work:

With thanks to Tamara, Romona, and Scott--

For historical crime fiction, visit Mortalis, an imprint of Random House.

For literary fiction, Amy Einhorn, an imprint of Putnam, is receptive to new writers.

The Tin House Quarterly accepts literary fiction from new writers.

For mystery fiction, go to Poisoned Pen Press or Three Rivers Press.

Reminders:

• Don't forget to bring your completed course evaluations with you to class next week. I'll be collecting them at the beginning of the hour.


• All work (assignment 5 and any remaining long pieces) is due at 10PM on Friday, March 12 in Word 03 format. Send copies of assignment 5 to the people in your group. No late papers will be accepted this week. I'll return your assignments to you on Sunday, as usual, and the manuscripts by class time on Monday.
  
• This is your last chance to take the writing challenges--each person gets one comment per week--to compete for the top three prizes.


• Don't forget to bring your 5-minute excerpt to read to the class.

This Week's Challenge:

Alfred Hitchcock said a good story is "life with the dull parts taken out." The same is true of good dialogue. The following exchange is stilted and generic. Keeping in mind what we talked about in class, how would you improve it?

"What happened to you, Ed?" George asked.

"Well, George," Ed said. "I was walking down the street, and a man came up to me. I said to him, 'What seems to be the difficulty?' He replied, 'You owe me a hundred dollars.' But I didn't. And then he hit me."

See you next Monday.

More Fundamentals of Publishing

As all of you demonstrated last night, you know where and how to look for markets for your work. You can

• Identify authors with work similar to your own.
• Look to see who published their work.
• Check the acknowledgements pages for names of agents and editors.
• Look for presses, magazines, and journals seeking writers in your genre.
• Single out target markets for new writers.
• Talk to writers you know or meet in classes and conferences.
• Be unafraid to ask questions.

You can also look at the following books:

• The Writer's Market
• Guide to Literary Agents
• The Novel and Short Story Writer's Market
• Jeff Herman's Guide to Book Publishers, Editors, and Literary Agents
• Complete Idiot's Guide to Getting Published, Sheree Bykovsky

And links:

• Writer's Market
• Association of Author's Representatives
• Predators and Editors
• Writer's Digest
• Fiction Magazines
• Literary Magazines

After you've compiled a list of potential markets, don't let your fear of rejection stop you. Rejection is something ALL writers live with. Remember, when you get turned down...

• Let yourself feel bad, but only for a little while.
• Think about what constitutes success. In Major League Baseball, the batters with the highest averages fail two thirds of the time. In basketball, the best three-point shooters fail sixty percent of the time.
• Always have a Plan B. That way, when Plan A doesn't pan out, you'll know what to do next.

Rejection is there. Be prepared. It's what you do afterwards that really counts.

Description

Your next assignment is to choose a passage in your work involving two people and some action and describe it using the techniques we discussed in class. The last assignment will be to rewrite this descriptive passage as dialogue (2 assignments on the same piece of writing), so make your selection carefully.

Here are some basics:

• Use description to help your reader visualize people, places, action.
• Practice showing rather than telling.
• Make sure your description moves the story along.
• Employ description to add to characterization.
• Avoid using description as filler.

Good description is

• Specific
• Well-observed (those five senses again)
• Revelatory of the character's inner life
• Consistent in its point of view
• Properly placed within the narrative
• Best delivered in small strategic chunks

When in doubt, leave it out.

Some Reminders:

• Please send me the publication information you shared last night so that I can post it on next week's blog.
• Assignment 4 (300-500 words) is due Friday, March 5 at 10PM. Don't forget to email copies (in Word 03 format) to the members of your group.
• For those of you turning in your ONE long piece (10 pages maximum), the due date is Friday, March 5 at 10PM. I'll return your manuscripts to you later next week.
• As I announced last night, for the final session, I'll be asking each of you to read to the class an excerpt (5 minutes) of your writing. You can sign up for that next Monday. I urge you all to participate, since this will be good practice for you, Once you're published, reading your work is standard operating procedure. So get started now.

This Week's Challenge:

We talked about how difficult describing the sense of smell can be. Almost always, it's not done directly but through analogy to something familiar. So...

Identify your favorite dessert and use two or three similes (employs "like" or "as") or metaphors (doesn't) to describe it.

Have a great week.

Fundamentals of Publishing

Knowing When You're Finished

Several of you have asked me how to know when you're finished and ready to send your work out, so here's a brief summary of some of the things we discussed in workshop last night:

• Write your way to the end, and don't get hung up on details.


• Give yourself a deadline and tell a few of your friends. That way, you might even embarrass yourself into finishing.


• Rewrite until you make yourself blind.


• Then put the piece away for awhile (Joyce Carol Oates says one year) and work on other projects; let the fat congeal and the dead dialogue start to smell.


• Pick the manuscript up again with a cold eye and a merciless pen.


• Fix everything.


• Give the piece to reader(s) you trust to tell you the truth.


• Forget about your ego and listen to what your reader(s) tell you.
  
• Suspend your certainty that you're right.


• Use what's suggested as a new way of seeing things and building a better manuscript.


• Then proofread the piece like crazy, or get someone with a great eye to do it for you before you send it out. A single typo can result in a speedy rejection.

Remember, writing is tough but comes from a fragile place. That's why we bleed so easily when we're criticized. But we're also brave enough to put the words on the page. So use that bravery to examine the choices you make in order to put your best work out there.

Writing a Novel Synopsis

Here are some tips on writing a good synopsis. These days, most agents/editors don't want to see a chapter-by-chapter description of your book, but often that's a good place to start.

• Write a one-paragraph summary of each chapter.


• Notice recurring themes.


• Start with your main character and her crisis.
  
• Don't include dialogue unless it's absolutey necessary.


• Do include a few strong quotes from your main character and make them short.


• Keep events in the same order they happen.


• Have a synopsis beginning, middle, end.
  
• Tell how the novel ends.


• Don't exceed two pages.

Here are ten synopsis dos and don'ts.

A Reading on Point of View

Thanks to Jeff for providing the link to a detailed discussion of point of view.

Some Reminders

• Please send me the 3-sentence synopsis you wrote last night in class at your earliest convenience.


• Your revisions of assignment 1 (300-500 words) are due on Friday, Feb. 26 at 10PM. We will NOT be doing group work on these revisions, so you only need to send one copy of your file to me. We will resume group work in sessions 5 and 6.


• For those of you turning in your ONE long piece (10 pages maximum) this week, the due date is Feb. 26 at 10PM. I'll return your manuscripts later next week.


• Don't forget to bring to class next week the name of one journal, magazine, or press you might submit your work to. Also include the name of the editor and your reasons for your selection. Be prepared to discuss your choice in class.

This Week's Challenge

A novel begins as follows:

Every summer, my family rented the same small house on the same mosquito-covered lake in the same small town in Canada. The idea was to drive all the way in one day, packing the station wagon the night before so that we could leave at 4:00 A.M.

What's the next sentence?

Have a great week.

Characters

It's a snowy day and a good time to think about your writing. Last night, we discussed some ways to develop characters. The biographical sketch is a useful tool to get you started. Once you know your character, you can be more specific and unique. I'm going to give you a chance to use this biography to rework the beginnings you wrote last week, since several of you have asked for the opportunity to do so. But more on that next Monday.

For now, character ...

Here's some food for thought as you develop your biography:

• What does your character look like?
• What does she do for a living?
• What kind of family does she come from?
• Is she married?
• Does she have children?
• How does she spend her spare time?

And ask yourself, what are his strengths and flaws; what is his political affiliation; what are his goals; what are his moral and ethical beliefs; what are his religious beliefs?

Once you've answered the questions that apply, ask yourself why you want to write about this character. Why are you so interested in him? What draws you to her?

Don't forget about body language.

• Facial expression
• Eye contact
• Posture
• Handshake
• Hand and Arm Gestures
• Position of the Head

How your character responds to a typical situation shows the reader a great deal about who she is. A single gesture can be worth a thousand words.

Now you're ready to sit down and tackle a 300-500 word sketch due in my mailbox by Friday, Feb 12 at 10PM. I know it's late, but I AM checking.

A NOTE ON THE EXCHANGE OF FILES

Since Word 03 cannot read .docx files without a special conversion utility, please save your work in the .doc (Word 97-03 option on the pull-down menu for "Save As") format. That way, everyone in your group will be able to open your files without getting a lot of gobbledigook.

A REMINDER

If you haven't done so already, don't forget to email me a brief description of what aspects of your writing you want to focus on in here.

A QUICK READ TO PASS AN ENJOYABLE FEW MINUTES

Here's one person's pick of the 10 Most Harmful Novels ever written.

FINALLY--THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE

(Click on "comments" below. Fill in your name, and then have fun!)

What kind of character would observe the following?

Funny how falling feels like flying, for a little while.

See you next Monday.

Thoughts on our First class

Writers!


Energetic class last night, even considering how late in the day it was. I particularly enjoyed listening to how you see yourselves as writers. You're working in different genres. Some of you already have books in the trunk, while others have tons of ideas stashed in journals. But we've all experienced roadblocks: difficulty in getting started because writing is just so darned hard, fear that other people won't like or understand what we've written, worry that we're somehow doing it all wrong (as if there's one right way). These anxieties keep us from doing what our hearts and minds tell us we want to do, namely write.


By bringing your work into the daylight and letting others in the class respond to it, you'll gain more insight into what you are actually doing and what you WANT to do. Remember that you have the authority to decide which suggestions to use or discard. So listen carefully. Even if something sounds off-the-wall, you may come up with a third way somewhere between your original impulse and the crazy idea that works better. That's happened to me a lot and often with surprising and wonderful results.


DON'T FORGET to email me a brief description of what you most want to improve on as a writer at your earliest convenience.


A LITTLE MORE ABOUT BEGINNINGS:


Here are some suggestions for those of you who are using chapters/stories you've already written:

1. Plunge right in by showing your protagonist on screen and in focus. Get readers into her/his head. Don't stop to give a guided tour. You can do that later with flashbacks.


2. Establish your protagonist in context. Is she/he a hexagonal peg in a square hole?


3. Offer a scene that mirrors the overall conflict (but go lightly here). Ask a question, though not necessarily literally. Why am I hopelessly in love? Why did my father leave? How did my best friend end up in a pool of blood on the floor?


4. Portray an evocative situation, a signature scene where the protagonist has something at stake. But if you're going to use action, remember that readers don't yet know who your protagonist is, so choose wisely. Stay simple.


5. If you're in the realm of fantasy, science fiction, or history, for example, show how your world works starting with the most familiar elements first as a guide to readers.

THANKS TO ANNE FOR THIS SUGGESTION:

Here's the memory fragment I read in class. We ran out of time before each of you had an opportunity to take a stab at the beginning. Now's your chance. Please DO share your first sentences with the rest of the class by posting them on the blog.

One day when I was around five years old, I walked over to the train tracks that were not too far from my backyard. I could always see the trains go by from my bedroom window. When I got close, I noticed a small stick on the ground. It gave me an idea, and a wicked one it was.

I reached down, picked up the twig, and headed toward the tracks. I thought that if I put the stick on the tracks, the train would derail and crash. What a cool sight that would have been! I didn't think about anyone getting hurt, as I never did see anyone on a train before.

A COUPLE MORE THINGS:

• Here are links to two lists of rules for writing. They're fun, so read them and come to class prepared to talk about them--by Vonnegut and Orwell.


• Don't forget to email your first assignment to me by Friday, Feb. 5th at 10PM.

Have a great week.

Greetings Writers

Welcome to the Winter 2010 Intermediate Fiction Writing Workshop at the Thurber House. I'm looking forward to meeting all of you. Our classroom is on the second floor. When you arrive, I'll give you a placard with your name on it. Take a seat anywhere around the table and place your name in front of you so that I can get to know who you are. We'll begin promptly at 6PM. The doors will be open 15 minutes before then.

Here are some things you'll need to know for the first day:

• Bring paper and something to write with. We'll be doing an introductory exercise during the first hour and a short in-class warm-up during the second hour.
• You are not required to turn any work in before we meet.
• We will take a ten-minute break after the first hour. Bottled water will be available for those of you who are thirsty--and for those of you who aren't.

Here are a few housekeeping issues:

• All submissions will be done electronically. You can email assignments to me in Word file format only at terrispaul@aol.com.
• I'll also return your work to you with my comments (usually in red) embedded in the text. I will give you the details on Monday.
• Since this is an intermediate class, I'm assuming all of you have at least made a stab at writing a short story or stories before. Each week, you will have the option of writing something new or working on something you've already written.

Here are the topics we're going to cover:

• Week 1: Beginnings
• Week 2: Character Development
• Week 3: Dialogue
• Week 4: Description
• Week 5: Endings
• Week 6: The Whole Story

The division of topics is arbitrary. Discussions of character will bleed into to dialogue. Discussions of dialogue will bleed into description, etc. And what about plot? We'll be talking a lot about it, too, since it's usually the reason we're writing in the first place.

These are the written assignments (300-500 words each):

• Week 2: A Gripping Introduction
• Week 3: A Brief Character Study
• Week 4: A Telling Exchange (Dialogue Only)
• Week 5: A Vivid Description
• Week 6: An Ending To End All Endings

That's about it for now. See you all on Monday,